six years of love and growth

this past sunday marks six years since momma's stroke. it has certainly been a wild ride. i got a text reminding me of this huge milestone and i got all teary-eyed. my beautiful mom has fought so hard to be where she is today and for the most part, done it in spite of the pain she endures. living amidst pain and stagnation is what i see. i feel honored to know her and to watch her continue to walk with grace and love. her ability to continue to be the best mom ever has blown my mind. whether she tells me i'm looking great when i feel awful or i mess up and have all this shame. she never judges and is so quick to make me realize that NOTHING is a big deal and we can get through anything. obviously, i believe her because we have gotten through obstacles that we never thought we could. 

so, sunday, we all piled into the car (jer, em, lo, and jack) as we said farewell to Jack who headed to Brazil for the world cup. he's reported in and has made it successfully to a gunshot/dog-barking hostel but seems optimistic. he'll be gone for 6 weeks! and then before we know it, alice and I will be off for a israeli-european adventure in july! what a beautiful modern family we have! and smooch brings light to our lives and continues to love unconditionally. 

i'll leave you with this. when you are feeling sad or stuck, remember that everything ends. impermanence is all we know. better get used to it. 

til next time,

em

Hey ya'll,

Whats new in my moms life?

She just made it back from a quick trip in Frankfort, Michigan where she hung out with her fam. She sounded like she enjoyed herself although she kept telling me she wished her kids were with her.

Before her trek up north, she finished her 6 month intensive physical therapy program (strokenation.org). If you haven't already checked it out, go do so. Lots of great videos of her and others and it's main premise is great. She loved it and I think helped her immensely.

She's coming to visit me up in Western Washington September 12 and I am SO EXCITED! And she's staying for 2 weeks! I miss her so much!

As for everything else, She's just busy trying to continue more speech therapies, physical therapies and avail herself of every resource possible. It is hard staying a float in LA with expensive realestate but with some help she will continue to thrive.

Thanks for reading and everyones continued support. I'll continue updating as much as I can.

Love,
Emma

Dear all--

I'm in awe with how quickly time passes. A few weeks ago marks 4 years since the stroke-- how surreal.

Momma continues to march on. She has been doing intensive group Physical therapy 5 days a week for 2 hours. I just wandered upon a website that has videos of her and others working hard (www.strokenation.org).

Lots of love to all this summer,
Momma and gang

2012 update- Happy new year!

I could have sworn I updated this thing since the big move... I guess not.

We got mom settled in an apartment in Santa Monica off Wilshire. Was a huge change but I we've adapted well, considering. In October she went to Chicago with me (Emma) to do a Aphasia Speech therapy study for 6 weeks. We had a blast and totally think it was beneficial for momma. Lots of laughs were had and lots of growth. We came home just in time for thanksgiving dinner at Celia's.

Since then, we celebrated the holidays. And momma went back solo to Chicago the first week of January for a follow up to her study in October. Sounds like it was an easy trip considering she managed on her own. When marsh and I took her to the airport she was so over us asking if she had everything etc. Ha!

I'm not sure specifically the days but she is supposedly doing a group physical/occupational therapy intensive during the week. Sounds like it is helpful.

Nonetheless, she hasn't changed and continues to amaze and inspire me.

Today is a very special day!

Happy birthday to the beautiful Lora Lee... aka my favorite mother on this planet! This morning she had some grubs and bonding with her dashing sisters. Once home, we hung out by the pool and laughed. Then proceeded to continue our celebration by a beach-side dinner at Shutters hotel restaurant. It was beautiful. We will be finishing the night off with a movie late tonight. She's everyones hero today.

In other news, house was sold and the process of inspectors/escrow shenanigans are beside us. So... we are in the midst of trying to find the perfect place for momma and looking hard. There will be the perfect place but hasn't hit us yet. If you know if any leads, let us know.

Lots of love today,

The Lo posse

Open House

Today was our first open house! After getting back from Michigan, we quickly put together the house and it looks lovely. Send some positive vibes our way for some good offers and a quick turn around. This process is exhausting and we want to continue to move in the right direction. Who wants to sit in a beautiful newly cleaned house and want to leave?

With love to all,

The fam

Is it really June 12th?!

The house has been slowly (but surely) moving in the right direction. We've been playing musical beds while painting has been going on. My dad's friend came and did some landscaping in front and although it is minimal, it looks better. We had a garage sale today which turned out to be somewhat successful. Not a huge outcry of people but we made a little money and will get the rest shipped out to give away in the AM. This whole cleaning/moving/whatever-you-want-to-call-it/process has been a learning experience and though the rest of the family wouldn't agree, I feel positive. It feels similar to camping, especially having an almost daily lunch picnic in our back yard since our kitchen has been unusable during painting. Don't get me wrong... we do have a debilitating amount of useless stuff sprawled out throughout our house, backyard and garage. But it will get done! One day soon hopefully. My mom has been a rock (duh) through all of this and we are lucky to have her steadfast vibes to keep us moving towards the finish line.

Mema is coming out to visit and help mid-week and that will be nice to have her around. And then, before we know it we will be all heading to Michigan for Grand-paul's birthday celebration for 4th of July weekend.

Amidst my chaotic writing and lack of any structure, I hope this finds you well.

Sending love to you today,
Emma

Hey guys!

Whats new?

In our world, there's always a lot of new exciting things happening! We are in the midst of starting to put the house together (ie. reorganize, clean, paint, garden, etc...). It's that time where we are all collectively ready to get this house on the market. Hopefully within the month we will be ready. There is massive amounts of work to be had but who knows I'm sure we can manage. Thought I would put it out there that if you wanted to help or knew anyone that could be of service, please don't hesitate to let us know.

As for whats next... We'll see when we get there. Whether it be everyone going their separate ways or helping out mom. It's been great being together and learning to live under the same roof.

That's all I got for now,
Emma

What a beautiful february day...

Just a quick update.

My mom is starting pool therapy at a place in cheviot hills called CompletePT. She's excited because she thinks it will really help. Went to see Dr. Eberly her doctor who did her leg surgery last year and he was feeling like she was doing great and progressing well. She doesn't seem to agree but she doesn't doubt him.

In other news: NEW CAR. We got money from the insurance and always are looking for extra help. We want an inexpensive and reliable car that does not require maintenance like the volvo did. My mom is open to anything really as long as we don't have to put money into it. Any ideas? Any donations, thoughts, recommendations, would be helpful.

Hope you are smiling today!

Winter time is upon us

How is everyone doing?

Life seems to be moving along. Alice, Jack and I (Emma) are all living together under the same roof with our amazing mother. I think, I could be wrong, that is a great experience for us all to finally have some bonding.

My mom is doing really well. Her therapies at Rancho Los Amigos has began to dissipate, which is good and bad. It's bad because my mom won't get the hands on treatment she deserves. The good news is that to some extent, this shows that she has made strong progress and now has the tools necessary to continue her treatment on her own. We'll see. She is still doing her acupuncture and her stroke support group and doing whatever else she does. The three sister trio made an adventure towards Ojai last week but never actually made it. But I think fun was had by all. They brought me home amazing cake so I have only good things to say about it.

Aside from that, not much else to report. Life is good and I am so lucky we have such a supportive and loving family and support system. Some people never experience it. I'll try to write more often.

Until next time...

Love,
Emma

Hey guys. I've been slacking.

My mom had pretty major leg surgery a month ago or so... it was something to do with the tendons being moved around or "released." I don't know the ligistics but I do know that she was in a significant amount of pain and had to been bed ridden for two weeks. You know Lora and she does not like to sit still for the life of her. We hung out together and I slept with her for those two weeks and helped her get around or get whatever she needed. It honestly was not a time I'd ever like for her to re-live. Ever. She still has a hard cast on from her knee down but manages to get around just fine. The cast should be on for another month or so.

Also, we (my dad mostly) have been trying to get in contact with Ram Das to get my mom out to Hawaii for one of her workshops or retreats. He finally responded to my dad's inquiry recently and he told my mom to watch one of his movies called "Fierce Grace" which is all about his life living with a stroke in a spiritual perspective. I watched it and loved it and was very moved by how much strength people have. I am constantly moved by how well people can adapt and accept where they are at. It was empowering. The next step is to see if she can get out to Hawaii soon. We'll see.

The summer is fast approaching and hopefully my mom is on the mend with her leg. She is a fighter and doesn't seem to ever stop, which is great. I'll keep you posted on the latest.

In other news, jack is traveling around asia for the next few months and has been keeping a blog. If you are at all interested, go check it out: www.iamwhiteguy.blogspot.com.

That's all I got for now. Hope it was informative at the very least.

A New Year: 2010

I haven't updated in forever. I always say that but it has been since this summer! I am so sorry.

Anyway, like usual, lots is going on.

Jack got back from Rome and Alice got back from New York in December. We had a very lovely Christmas with Mema and Grandpaul coming out here for 5 days. It's been great to have everyone home, although my mom mentioned to me that we were doing just fine on our own. :)

Prior to Alice returning, we were plagued with termites and a water leak in her bathroom. We had to undergo a bathroom remodel and now she has a new shower! Yay! Also, my mom's car is breaking down. It has just been a mess trying to keep the car alive with way too much money put into the car, to now have the transmission failing... Oh well. So a new car is in the horizion, sooner than later. Just think about that if you know anyone that wants to help us in the hard time. It's a new year and we are all optimistic.

My mom is doing well... her regular routine of stroke support group, seeing movies with friends, acupuncture, going to her therapies, and cleaning up after me. I tell her not to but she tells me no one will do it if she doesn't. She's the best.

I also received many additional cd's that my cousin Molly made for my mom as a sort of fundrasing thing. If you want one or know someone who does, please call. 310 849 9892.

Love and joy for this new year!
Emma

Happy summer all!

What's new?

I'll tell you what's new. My mom is trucking along... slowly but surely. It was her birthday on July 30th, and we all (alice, emma and lo) made it out to Michigan for a week in paradise. Alice had just gotten back a day prior from her European escapade. Jack met alice in barcelona and they went to Mallorca and stayed with my dad's god daughter. Then they went back to Paris and Alice came home. Jack got a mohawk in Berlin. It's comical how only my brother could pull off the mohawk and still be respected. Not everyone can say that. We've been video chatting with him in Paris and my mom always tries to turn the camera to me. He doesn't enjoy when mom tries to end the conversation short because she doesn't want to keep him or when I try to flex my guns in the chat. He tells me that he doesn't care about my muscles.

Life's precious. For now, we are not moving due to generous loving human beings who are helping out. That doesn't mean we are all clear on the bills and such, but it looks like we are situated for a bit. Any support you can contribute for my mother is ALWAYS very appreciated and welcome.

With abundant love,
Ems

Hey all.

I thought it was only appropriate to express my concern on the blog. We have to sell the house cause we can't pay for it. I wanted to see if anyone had any creative ideas on how to keep it? I think it is very important for my moms recovery to have a place she can call home and not be disrupted with having to move on top of already feeling exceedingly vulnerable. Who has any ideas? Room renting to students? Grants of some sort? Winning the lotto? Please send me any ideas to my email: emalwayschillin@mac.com

Love,
Emms

So just wanted to show everyone how amazing one of Lora's off spring is...

The one and only, Jack Ross....
http://www.dailycal.org/article/105571/how_i_learned_to_start_caring_love_the_bears

Dear world...

My mom is slowly getting better and we are all grateful for that. She has been recovering steadily and has gotten the OK to travel, which is great. Hopefully she can start her stroke study aphasia program in Chicago soon. That will help her feel better, too.

I decided to write this post when I looked over some sheet my mom had. When I was looking at it she said "That's mine it's not for you" and despite all the positives about being covered with having great insurance now, it does not override the bills she received prior to her insurance change. Therefore, it is essential we work together even more. I know our economy is in a depression and that so many of you have helped out immensely, but we are still struggling, too. We are going to have to sell the house soon as the mortgage is ridiculous and the bills for her hospital stays at both Brotman and UCLA are not going anywhere. Many people in this time are in major debt so it just scares me as I assume it scares lots of people. Let's just hope things begin to work themselves out and someone just comes to save the day for us too! You can donate by clicking donate on the left and giving your credit card info on the paypal thing or sending a check to the address below the button. Keep giving anything that you can. It means so much.

With love,
Ems and the crew

LATEST UPDATE!

Surgery was successful! Now, she is just busy re-cooperating from the intense surgery. Send her lots of love and hugs and anything else her way. I have been hanging with her and bringing her good yummy food and just being there with her so she has some company. She walked down the hall 3 different times today. The last time I was there and she pushed me away from helping her because she said "you don't need to help." She's the light of my life. Hopefully she should be out soon. I'd say Monday but we really just don't know yet. Just wanted to report that she has lots of love going around and it makes her day and helps her truly heal. Thank you.

Love,
Ems

Update!

I know this is somewhat of an impersonal way of checking up on my mother, but I am just speaking through her. Although she would not care to disclose as much information as I have, I am her offspring so how different can we be?

Latest news:
The surgery date for her heart valve replacement is set for Tuesday February 3, 2009. She will be in the hospital for 5 days recovering. It is a pretty major surgery but don't fear, as she has the best people doing it. When I was 3, I myself, had an open heart surgery to repair a hole in my heart. My parents searched and searched for the best surgeon, until they found the right guy. I think the coolest part of my mom's surgery is that it is the same surgeon who did me! Only 17 short years prior. He was young then and he is the best ever! I've spent ours looking him up so here I will share all of the peace I have had knowing she is going to be taken care of. Click this to read all about him! Dr. Alfredo Trento

In other news, she finally is going to the spectacular physical therapy place that we have waited oh-so-long for her to get admitted to. Tomorrow, Monday February 2nd, she will be there and get to check it out before her surgery. Her spirits are high as always and hopefully you can all keep her in your thoughts for the surgery and all. Thank you for reading this!

Love,
Ems and crew

There is nothing better than to start the new year fresh

I was told to update the blog, as I have not done so in over a month. My apologies yet again. We had a heartfelt and loving ceremony that I won't directly label but my aunt's told me I should tell everyone that we are open for any presents!!! 

Happy holidays to all and a very very special new years! It was lovely to spend some time with the family and be able to come together and find gratitude in all the chaos we have all, to some degree, been effected with. Lots has happened but we are all together, knowing we don't ever have to go through anything alone. The strength of the masses is so apparent when crisis hits. 

My mom finished her first 6 weeks of the stroke aphasia program in Chicago and I accompanied her there over the weekend. The weather was freezing pretty unbearable, but having to only spend two days there, we managed just fine. Visited the T-Lee clan on sunday when we got in and watched the boys play hockey. Really fun to surprise Uncle T and the fam. Glad to be home in warmer weather. The program, I think, was beyond helpful in improving my moms speech and starting to become more familiar and comfortable with words she once could not express. From having to probe her to waiting for her to answer questions, the clear shift in her progress is astonishing. 

Now there are some downsides and upsides... My mom is going to get covered with insurance now (yay!) but the downside is she still is going to need a heart valve replacement. We are hoping for the sooner the better but we have no say in the matter. At this point, we are asking for as much support as possible as we are at a crucial time in decision making. Hopefully all will be successful. When there are more definite details, I will of course update this immediately. 

Until then, hope the new year brings everyone lots of love and lots of peacefulness. Life is too short to settle for anything less. 

With love,

Ems

Life is what you make of it.

What is new in the world? More importantly, what is new for my mom? 

A whole lot.

If for some odd reason you were unaware, the biggest dilemma to date is the constant fight with the insurance company and hospitals. Luckily, it's all going to work out, but it is a scary reality. Does it seem just to receive bills upon bills from physical therapy that the insurance company keeps approving but somehow we are getting billed huge sums of money? Scary, but like I said, it will all work out. 

In bigger news, my mom is fantastic. She made a quick trip to the midwest to begin an Aphasia program. It was a nice get away for her to go with Michelle and visit with some family and get the program started. The program was started for deaf people and has transformed into a way of helping many people recover from strokes. It is somewhat of a study, but it truly seems like it has helped in the short time she has done it. What my mom does every day is use a computer with a headset and a video camera. The computer connects with the headquarters in Chicago and as words in a phrase begin to become highlighted, the face on the screen moves it's lips and she hears the words being spoken on the headset. It is hard at first to read the words out loud. My mom is a genius reader but the biggest issue for her that I learned is being able to read correctly out loud. As she continues to fight and repeat the phrase, she eventually reads it correctly and moves on. This, I believe, can help immensely with the re-wiring of her brain that had been lost. It is not going to be easy, but I gage that the program can be influential for her growth and success. 

Hopefully she will continue to flourish. We shall see. 

In the meantime, I am thinking when she is done with this program, I am going to work on fundraising for a new computer for my mom. Hers is very old, unreliable, shuts down, slow, barely charges, and is hard to read the screen. But thats later down the line. Just thought it would be a good start to put it out there for the world. 

As for the rest of the family, we are doing great. Slowly but surely everything is getting better. All of us kids are busy working in school and keeping to push through. Thanks for all of your support for my mom and our whole family. I shall write again when there is more news. 

Love, Ems